Swedes are Mexicans!!!

Discovery and Tips not found in Travel Books, nor from Anthony Bourdain

-- all information had been gathered through actual visits, interviews with the locals.  Tireless bus rides, food courts, bowling sessions, in local shopping complex, all over major European cities.

-- so this means every finding is unofficial, not "Wiki-worthy".  And 100% not "factual" (if you're thinking about suing or spamming anybody).  They only accurately reflect locals' opinions and beliefs--the only "facts" that matter...


 1. Did you know Swedes are, MEXICANS!!!

Yeah, that's people from Sweden, the alleged "Blonde Central"; not Switzerland, the "Red Cross" hospital looking, neutral country, whose accents are made fun of by both the French and German.)

With oil, Norway is the new rich!  
It has the highest cost of living (and also, highest salary).  For example, in Bergen, Oslo, one gets an hourly rate of 40 euros as "minimum wage", working in "high school, unskilled" shopping center staff positions.
This is how they pay for their street food of 20 euro hot dogs, or simple cheap 80 euro diners.

So the young, unemployed, willing and hard-working Swedes are "sneaking" and swarming across the border to work in ANY positions; "work and save and send money home".  Norwegian employers are happy to hire the hard-working Swedes, to the point of "paying them less"--since they'll do anything!  Sound  familiar?  No, the cooks in Oslo are still real Mexicans.

No Way?  Yes way: America is starting to identify weapons of mass destruction, or chemical weapons in Norway; so as to "liberate" the Norwegian people and offering them a real chance in life--capitalism, and McDonald's!

Hey, in case you did not know: in Europe, McDonald's are usually where you get free WiFi, and where you can unload whatever local delicacies that you downloaded freely like a Chinese "copyrighted" DVD.  It's liberation and communication center central!  Download and unload!

Of course, the best FREE internet and bathrooms (W.C.) are found in all museums.  The only places you don't have to pay (almost one euro) for dumping.

A little history:  the Danes (happiest snobby couldn't-care-less people on earth) and the Swedes were just debating who wanted Norway (a bunch of country bums, farmers, fishermen) a while back.  Then the tough luck Norwegians found oil and now the Swedes are crossing the border to make a better living.  How ironic.  Kind of like Cate Blanchett moving into her not so classy sister's home for help, in the movie Blue Jasmine--not Woody Allen's best.

Oh, by the way, Norway has MORE blondes than Sweden.  Norway is the real capital of blondes.  Sweden has the friendliest, most down to earth souls.  Kind of like your favorite cousins, uncles.  Sweden's best gift to Europe is: ABBA!

(Special note: ABBA museum is finally opened in Stockholm; don't forget to go in for a shiny, glitzy karaoke blast, while picking up your Nobel prize.)

Back to my dream scenario: if Middle East only produces finest wine and cheese, and NOT a single drop of oil, let's see who's there to liberate the Middle East.  While America invades IKEA to stage a war on terror, against terrorist cells in Norway... How do we stop every Norwegian sounding last name or fisherman from boarding a plane?


2. Best train ride in the world:   Oslo to Bergen in Norway.

Imagine 5 hours of taking pictures as sea, lakes, mountains, Yosemite, snow covered mountain tops, embraces your every bend, nonstop.


3. Blue light public bathrooms, why?

In many European cities, public bathrooms (W.C.) found in movie theatres, museums, restaurants, etc.., are lit with light blue lights.  Why?
Because then, drug junkies cannot find their veins, to be shooting up in the bathrooms.


4. Stockholm Must Knows

 a. Expresso House:  4-star hotel ambiance Starbucks with FREE Wifi, bathrooms.

Did we say, FREE?
You'll know what we mean, when you realize you even have to pay 2 euros for using a toilet inside a restaurant--yes, the restaurant's very own bathrooms for its own customers!  It's like your mom and dad charging you $20 for a glass of water when you visit them!


b. Kajsas Fisk:  best fish soup (for less than 10 euro, vs other simple meals at 20+ euros)

http://kajsasfisk.se/kajsas-fisk-home-of-the-world-famous-fish-soup/

It's better than 90% of the bouillabaisse in south of France, where they charge you 40 euros.
Like a concentration camp soup line, people line up for this fish soup at 3pm, where you can add all the veggie you want, and take all the bread you want.
Oh, did we say you can bring your empty bowl back, for 2nd helping, for FREE!!

Size of bowl: same as those that hold your miso ramen in any respectable Japanese noodle soup place.

This place is the top survival secret to maintaining your foodie image, without paying 4 Seasons prices for your every meal.  They close at 5pm; don't do dinners.